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  • Stephanie Stanway

In my Fathers house

Chosen.Not forsaken.I am who you say I am.

Fathers day, for many is wonderful, a joyful time to celebrate some of the closest loves we have- and they should be celebrated & acknowledged and loved dearly for a good Father is precious & I commend these wonderful men. I have met many, known many and been loved by a few sacred souls that I will eternally be grateful for in a time when I needed it most.

For others though, and many more than there should be, Fathers day isn’t celebrated- its a dreaded day that comes around and brings along its big bag of shame, regret & rejection, its a reminder that some are fatherless & have had to navigate this worlds paths without the steadying hand of a dad.

There are of course a multitude of situations, and too many to call on but abandonment, death, unrealistic expectations, rejection, abuse and the list continues. . for those that have experienced the flip side of life without a father- this ones for you.

We sang in church recently “I am who you say I am” Hillsong- and although I’ve sang this song so many times- I felt a nudge during it “Who does he say I am?” That nudge also wanted me to step forward take the mic and belt out “In my Fathers house, there’s a place for me” but I refrained- and probably for the best!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (James 1:17)

I had a shifting shadow Father experience for many years of my childhood, here one day and gone the next few months and so on and so forth with a few handfuls of rejection, shaming & indifference. . However, looking back on these years, the grace of God shines so bright I can hardly believe his goodness for me. He brought forth Godly men in my home church, who must have felt the call of the spirit just to take some time out and acknowledge me through conversation & prayer, I was in a bubble of his mercy that cushioned me from the obvious sadness I should have felt- even to this day I am beyond grateful for those guys and they will never know just how much their time and effort shaped me alongside Gods steady hand.

This doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. I do, and I understand- the feeling deep in your gut when you see someone else with their Father, the fleeting moment of thinking what could have been.

The missed classic Father moments, the walking down the aisle alone, and then onto the missed grandfather moments- and those ones are the biggies, knowing my two little loves miss out on a grandfather is painful, but God sees every tear and will wipe away each one in time.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle, you have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8)

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes.There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4)

Ive spoken to a lot of people over the years, male & female, that have held deep wounds by their Fathers for years, like a splinter lodged in the skin- words of spite, of discouragement, of being not enough and too much all at once.

Words are so powerful, if only mankind could realise the power of the spoken word and use it for good.


“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:21)

But..

“The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joint and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12)

And what exactly does God say of us? Read them all, out loud is always preferable- let your spirit soak up His goodness, hear the truth and rejoice.

You are Loved deeply

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39)

“And we know and rely on the love God has for us.God is love.Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16)

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed” (Isaiah 54:10


You are created

“In him you have been made complete, and he is the head over all rule and authority” (Colossians 2:10)



“For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mothers womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance: in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them” (Psalm 139:13-16)

“The spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life” (Job 33:4)



You are a Child of God

“See what kind of love the father has given to us, that we should be called children of God:and so we are. The reason why the world does not knows is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are Gods children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared:but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:1-2)

“And I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters to me says the Lord almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:18)


“For all who are led by the spirit of God are sons of God.For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry “Abba!Father!” The spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:14-19)

There is so much more I could say, so many more scriptures I could type- but this last and final category is an action, a challenge, a blessing to bestow.

Like blowing a dandelion to the wind, releasing a dove to the sky & pouring healing oil upon that open wound- it will in time, heal and restore.


You are Forgiving

“Therefore, as Gods chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12)

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just a s christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32)



Draw close to your Father in heaven and he will draw close to you.

If you know someone without a Father- become a compass for them, point them to the everlasting Father, take time to talk with them, invest in their life, I promise you it is worthy work and can have a lifelong effect.




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